Seven of Wands: Tarot for Conflict

Conflict occurs in all relationships.

It can agitate our fears of abandonment. It can reactivate our trauma. It may even cause us to act our instinctive urge to self-sabotage, our death drive.

Conflict can bring out the worst in us.

When we're in conflict, our first stance is often to defend ourselves. Defensiveness is the enemy of intuition.

That's because when we are rushing to our own defense, we aren't listening to the other person. We may not even be listening to ourselves.

In the throws of conflict we may lash out. We may act up. We may sow the seeds of our own embarrassment.

The Seven of Wands is a tarot archetype of conflict. It's also a lesson in perspective.

In Smith-Rider-Waite style decks, a figure defends their higher ground against a horde armed with staffs. The figure is equally armed.

It's clear that this figure is under attack. Yet they have the higher ground.

Why keep fighting many enemies when it is now safe to run?

Not every fight is worth fighting. That's a fact that anger and defensiveness can cause us to forget.

Under patriarchy, anger is one of the only emotions cis men can recognize.

The rest of us may have learned to hide our anger, to bottle it and keep it in our bodies. This leads to physical, emotional, and relational problems in the long-term.

Defensive anger during conflict can even jeopardize our relationship to ourself.

It may keep us from trusting our own feelings. It can stop us from expressing the truth. It can prevent us from getting our needs met by ensuring we don't know what they are.

Tarot at a Crossroads

We need our intuitions to make good decisions. But intuition speaks loudest where we can maintain our peace.

There is a difference between intuition and instinct.

Both can prevent tragedy. They are both divine ways of knowing.

But intuition requires logic as well as intuition.

Instinct often requires something greater, learned over generations and programmed into our bodies. Instinct flips its switch when logic fails us.

Make no mistake: instinct has its power and its place. But conflict often occurs where we want to maintain a relationship. The actions we undertake with instinct can strain our relationships.

Flight or flight situations find us in new manifestations throughout our lives. Instinct is our lifeline in fight or flight situations. A swift reaction can save our lives or end it.

Yet it is intuition which is better in situations that will not end our lives.

An intuitive approach to navigating conflict in relationships requires us to listen.

Intuitive listening starts with the self. It opens up space to understand our needs. Intuitive listening means we don't start swinging when someone runs into a boundary neither knew was there.

Intuition allows us to listen to others, so we can decide if what they're offering is right for us.

Divination takes time.

Divination requires attention, listening, and patience. Tarot divination can help us be present with hidden or forgotten parts of ourselves.

This comes from making time to sit alone, and consider. When we consult our intuitions, we align our body/minds and our spirits. This is an alignment that forms the cornerstone of authentic decisions.

Are You Even Right?

Another interpretation of the Seven of Wands asks who's right.

The situation we're observing on the card is ambiguous. It's worth wondering whose position is most fair.

This person could be a landlord running from their aggrieved tenants. This person could be a Trump voter who believes the entire wold is out to get them. This person could be a fascist who got punched in the face.

Someone's "higher ground" isn't always an ethical higher ground. The cliff from which the figure bats away could be wealth, or status, or exploitation.

Entering into a fight is no sure sign that your side should prevail.

Intuition can stop us when we know we've chosen the wrong position. Tarot can help us understand the impact of our decisions, and be accountable for our actions.